


What Are You Gonna Do?

by Punish_Me_Frank_Castle



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-19 22:41:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15520242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle/pseuds/Punish_Me_Frank_Castle
Summary: “What are you gonna do, Nat? Stab me?”“Holy shit you stabbed her!”





	What Are You Gonna Do?

>  

 

Liv hadn’t seen her old friend Natasha in ages. So of course when she had finally been given some time off she headed straight to New York to spend time with her best friend. They hardly ever got to spend time together outside of work, with Tasha being a part of SHIELD and The Avengers and Liv working for SWORD. 

Liv’s phone buzzed and she smiled at the screen as she read it. 

_Tasha: You here yet, I’m getting impatient._

_Liv: Sorry, flight was delayed. Just landed, I’m picking up my bags and then I’ll be headed your way._

_Tasha: Good, Старый друг._

Liv shook her head and shoved her phone back into her jacket pocket. The fact that Nat was becoming impatient amused her. If only people knew how non scary the Black Widow actually was. She slung her duffel over her shoulder and headed out of the airport in search of a cab. 

—————

“So who exactly is this chick, Nat? I’m supposed to be your oldest friend and I’ve never heard of her.” Clint asked between mouthfuls of cereal. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I do have other friends Clint.” 

Clint pointed his spoon at her, “yeah but none that I don’t know of.” 

“Liv is a friend from way back. I met her shortly after Budapest, during the time you were on sabbatical. We kinda worked together on a mission of sorts, SWORD and SHIELD work together from time to time.” 

“Shit, she works for SWORD? She’s not green or anything is she? Got an extra eye?” 

Natasha threw a nearby magazine at him. “Just because SWORD deals with all things extraterrestrial doesn’t mean they’re aliens.” 

“Okay, okay. But is she hot?” Clint raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

Natasha just sighed at her friend’s antics. “Clint, you’re married.” 

“Exactly, married ain’t dead.” 

The redheaded spy grinned at him then, “I’ll be sure to let Laura know that you said that.” 

“Wait, no! That’s not what I mean—“

_“I’m sorry to interrupt Sir and Miss, but it seems there is a guest in the lobby asking for Ms. Romanoff.”_

—————

Liv looked around the tower in awe. It was so shiny and technology was everywhere. She’d have to talk to this Stark guy about hooking her up with some sweet new upgrades. She was still using a zune for christ’s sake. 

“There you are. You look like shit. Come give me a hug.” 

Liv laughed as she embraced her best friend. “You don’t look so great yourself, these Avengers are running you ragged.”

“Speaking of,” Tasha smirked. “Would you like to meet them?” 

“Does that include Thor?” Liv asked excitedly. Tasha didn’t blame her. Of course the alien expert would want to meet the only alien on the team. 

“Sadly, no. Thor is off world dealing with some Asguardian business. But Clint is here and he’s weird enough to be considered an alien life form.” 

The two continued to talk amongst themselves as they road the elevator towards the Avengers’ floor. When the doors opened the team was doing a not so good job at trying to look inconspicuous in the common room. 

Bruce was making tea but was fidgeting with the tea kettle, Clint was pretending to eat cereal out of an already emptied bowl, Steve was pretending to do something on his phone (which would look normal to any outsider, but everyone knew he had no idea how to use the thing.), Tony was the worst of them all though; he was pretending to read a book but the book was upside down. 

“Everyone, this is LIv.” Nat announced. “Liv, this is Bruce, Tony, Steve, and Clint.” she gestured to each individual as she named them. The group collectively waved and said their hellos. 

Steve was the first to speak up. “So, Liv, lunch is almost done, would you like to eat with us?”

—————

Liv could see why Nat had decided to stick around with this group. They were a good team, they had a nice balance, no scale tipping too far. And they were really funny. Tony had just finished telling them about a funny time when Clint had accidentally sent out a mass email to all of SHIELD discussing the bet the team had on how long it had been since Fury had gotten laid. In the end, Natasha won that bet, which surprised no one. Tony was not entirely convinced  she hadn’t had insider information on the topic (wink wink). 

“Y’all wanna hear something really funny? One time in Istanbul, Tasha and I had been assigned to this den of Baugs and Nat—“ 

“Liv I swear!” Natasha moved to cover her friend’s mouth but Liv dogged it. 

“Nat and I went into the cave and—“ Liv continued gleefully. 

“Liv I swear to Thor if you don’t shut up.” Natasha had her had on her belt now, reflexively reaching for the knife at her side.  

Liv laughed at her friend’s discomfort, it took a special type of talent to make the Black Widow uncomfortable. She noticed where her friend’s hand rested and laughed again. “What are you gonna do, Nat? Stab me?” 

“Anyways, Nat thought it would be a great idea to—“ Liv’s sentence was cut off with a gasp. She looked down at her torso and found a knife buried to the hilt in her stomach. 

“There, that’ll teach you not to go spilling secrets.” Natasha said with mirth in her voice.

“Holy shit, you stabbed her!” Tony exclaimed

“What the fuck Tasha?!” Clint barked as he ran over to grab a first aid kit from the kitchen. 

Steve just sat there dumbfounded, mouth agape. And Bruce was focusing on not going green due to the sudden outburst of violence. 

“Nat, now look what you’ve done.” Liv scolded. “You’ve gotten blood on Tony’s nice white carpet.”

“Forget that, you have a knife sticking out of you abdomen!” Tony shouted, a little freaked out. 

“Oh, yeah, you’re right.” Liv chuckled and pulled the knife out with one swift tug. 

Just then Clint came running back into the room with a wad of hemostats in one hand and suture kit in the other. 

“Here, just let me get a look.” the archer stuttered pawing at Liv’s shirt trying to access how bad the damage was. 

Liv rolled her eyes playfully at Nat, noticing how much enjoyment she had been getting from everyone’s freakout. 

“You’re not getting this back, Nat. Punishment for your rudeness.” She gently pushed Clints hands away. “It’s fine Clint, see, all better.” 

Liv stood and held her shirt up a bit so everyone could see the freshly healed wound where the knife used to be. 

“Okay, what the fuck?” Tony asked. 

“For once I agree with Tony.” Steve chimed in. 

Clint was standing there awestruck and Bruce had calmed down enough to go into science mode and was putting on his glasses so he could analyze where the puncture had been. 

“Sorry everyone. I guess Natasha has failed to tell you all about why I’m such a valuable asset to SWORD and SHIELD. I kinda cant get injured. I have an immediate healing factor.” 

“Huh.” Bruce and Tony both said, minds going a mile a minute. 

“Anyways, sorry about the blood.” Liv pinned Nat with a stern look. “Natasha will be paying for the cleaning up of the carpet and whatnot.” 

Clint just shook his head, now not surprised by Natasha’s antics due to the circumstances. 

“Umm, so is it normal for her to just, uhh, you know, stab you?” Steve asked sheepishly. 

Liv and Natasha laughed. 

“No not usually Captain.” Natasha replied, “Only when Liv becomes particularly vexing.”

“You’re really terrifying, you know that?” Tony spoke, a little bit of fear showing in his eyes. 

Natasha just batted her eyelashes at the billionaire. Which made Tony shiver. 

Liv just shoved her friend lightly on the shoulder. 

“So…who wants desert?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> This popped into my head randomly today and I had to write it. Let me know what you think of it! Thanks :)


End file.
